Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm like, not good at living.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
