Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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