I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
