So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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