Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
