Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
