other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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