Sponge bath it is.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
