"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
