She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize