make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We don't watch enough power rangers
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
