I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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