I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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