fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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