Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
It's official drugs can't kill me
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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