So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
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