remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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