TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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