I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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