A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize