Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
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This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
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My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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