I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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