i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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