So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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