is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
