Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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