Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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