Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
i've created a new STD.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize
