Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize