Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
My penis needs a shock collar
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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