I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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