Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
