That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Randomize
