I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
