I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Just high enough for therapy.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
