weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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