hotel room ftw
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
