Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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