3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
