You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
