they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
