i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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