Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
