U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
