why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
