google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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