So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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