In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
