we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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