last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
