she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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