Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
