U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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