why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
