is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
