Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
