Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
