do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
