remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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