Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
