wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You may now shotgun with the bride
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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