I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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