I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
