your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just found a bag of teeth...
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
