Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
