can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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