i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
