seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
