ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
