how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
