Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
