Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
